Remember tonight when I told you I wanted to quick take my shower before you left for men's meeting? And remember how you thought that was silly? Your simple solution? Train Harrison to stay out of the bathroom, or just shut and latch the door so he can't get in. Well that sounds good and it probably would work for you. It seems like things go a lot smoother for you than for me. But for me, not so easy. First of all, in order to train, it seems to me that it would take a little more than a yell through the shower curtain to get the results that you want. And how convenient is it to hop out of the shower 3 or 4 times to chase after a toddler? Secondly, you're right he can't open the latched door, but let's not forget he has two older siblings who can.
Well, I was halfway through my shower and you were probably not even at the end of the drive yet, when sure enough the bathroom door opened. Mary had to go potty. And of course the whole clan tramped in after her. I sighed and waved goodbye to a peaceful shower.
"Mom, I think I made poopers. Can you wipe me?"
Really, I guess I could just lean out and do it quick without actually getting out of the shower. But have you ever tried to handle toilet paper with wet hands? Not so cool. So -- "I can't do it right now. Just do the best you can and go out of the bathroom." (I just know the longer they are in here the higher the chances for disaster.)
I look out and she is sitting on the potty with her little sponge dinosaurs and a key chain on the little chair in front of her. Definitely in no hurry to get out of here. Maybe toys in the bathroom is the child equivalent of us reading magazines etc. on the toilet. I reminded her of the "no toys in the bathroom" rule and told her to hurry and get off. This is what I heard next...
*toilet flushing*
"Mom, Harrison flushed the toilet and I didn't even wipe yet."
*sound of metal on porcelain*
"Mom, Harrison put the key chain in the potty." (thank goodness he flushed it before)
I look out but am in no position to back up my many and desperate commands. "Harrison, go out of the bathroom. Mary finish and wash your hands. Washington go out of the bathroom. Harrison, go out with Washington." My first leg is all lathered up and waiting to be shaved. And by the way "Washington, please close the door, you're letting cold air in." Goose bumps and shaving do not go together.
*pull my head back into the shower*
"Mom, Now Harrison threw my dinosaur in the potty."
*stick head back out of the shower*
"OK, Don't flush the potty. And wash your hands. And Go. out. of. the. bathroom." (Harrison immediately makes a dash for the flusher handle)
So ... If you don't know what to give me for Valentines maybe a peaceful shower or 2 or 3. Just Saying.
Love you too,
Your brave, monster-raising, somewhat clean, half-shaved wife.
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11 comments:
What's that saying about training your childrena t home instead of at church? I think this applies here as well...train them first then have a peaceful shower. I know you do a real good job. I think they eill turn out just fine.
Chad
somehow I know the very same feeling... thankfully now I have very peacful showers and even L.O.N.G. relaxing tub baths with a book. And I have a 3 month old baby. Thats what happens when they grow up. :) They turn out!! SO hang in there... one day you will be clean and both legs will be shaved!!!! : )
Wilma
Love it Tilda!! It's a mom's life, huh? I know you wouldn't trade your kids for anything - but a good venting session is necasary once in awhile. Thanks for the laugh. Your little Harrison must keep you on your toes. Wish I could see you again...
Melanie
you make me giggle! i'd be so mad at that insensitive husband of yours, if only i could be. (but he's not anywhere close to my definition of insensitive) Apparently even 'the best of them' have a blind side. Hope your little letter opened his eyes real good! and just in time for Valentines Day.
Knowing the awkward step up/in shower you have......i'm still giggling!
I was laughing & crying at the same time. Seriously! Charmaine can testify to that fact because I was reading this while sitting in her kitchen in AL. *Laughing* because I can picture your alkward shower too, and *crying* little tears because that feeling of being overwhelmed when all you want to do is accomplish something that USED to be so easy and calm and stuff is so familiar!
Cheers! Here's to a nice, long, hot, uninterrupted shower sometime this weekend. =)
oops! where's spellcheck? I meant *awkward*.
Tilda, i wish i would've seen this before today and I would've made sure you could get in a good hot soakin' no distracting shower. You sure said this well and i remember those days and feelings. Hold on tho, as somehow those moments of rest and sanity do come around again.
And btw, I think you are a great mom.... even if you have hairy legs. :)
I can still feel how it used to feel Mom
Oh my goodness. Do you know why everything's easier for him? Moms somehow have this magnetic force. I think kids are born with a driving need to know what mom is doing/be where mom is at AT ALL TIMES. Also included in that magnet is the capability to catch all boogies, puke, and drool. Interesting life. =)
I really need to come read your site more often because it makes me laugh. Miss you.
Oh my goodness, this is so funny!! I only two children, but my showers are rarely alone either, without someone needing something, or the door being pounded on. But I laughed so hard over this story! Great storytelling! :) And cheers to future showers. Peacefully. :)
Hysterical!!!
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